


a million tiny little things

by exo_rdium



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-22 02:05:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11957430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exo_rdium/pseuds/exo_rdium
Summary: Baekhyun Byun is the Senator for Eriadu, a forest planet with plenty of industrial sectors, in a galaxy overridden by war. Kim Jongdae is one of his most loyal assistants, who falls in love with the Senator's lover, Kim Junmyeon.This is a story of love, loss and politics.





	a million tiny little things

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during 21 BBY, at the start of the 2nd year of the Clone Wars. I tried to stick to canon as much as possible.  
> Word count: 18,000

Senator Baekhyun Byun felt strangely uneasy in his office next to the palace of Governess Kwon. His desk was covered in holodisks and all the other usual clutter of his station. At the front of it, a hologram played through the numbers, something he was blankly staring at with the reports dimly registering in his mind.

Baekhyun knew that this situation had to be resolved somehow, even if the Senate was preoccupied with more… pressing matters. But it galled him to think that so many of his colleagues would would focus everything on the war just because it was in their best personal interests, everything from potential contracts to direct payoffs from some of the commerce guilds, rather than on what was best for the Republic and it’s people. 

In his heart, Baekhyun remained steadfast that he had to work to address the increasing humanitarian problem of the war refugees. The Republic was built on tolerance. It was a vast network of tens of thousands of systems, and even more species, each with a distinct perspective. The only element they shared was tolerance. Tolerance of one another. But the refugees might prove unsettling, even threatening, to so many of those systems and species, beings far removed from the great city-planet of Coruscant. 

A commotion outside drew Baekhyun to the window, and he looked down upon the complex courtyard to see a group of men jostling and fighting as the Eriadu security forces rushed in to control the situation. 

There came a sharp rap on the door to his office, and as he turned back that way, the portal slid open and Captain Kim strode in. 

"Just checking, Senator," said the man who had served as Baekhyun’s personal bodyguard ever since he became a Senator. Tall and dark-skinned, he had a steely gaze and an athletic physique, and the mere sight of Jongin filled Baekhyun with comfort. He was still very young, but still looked as if he could outfight any man on Eriadu.

"Shouldn't you be seeing to the security of Governess Kwon?" Baekhyun asked. 

Jongin nodded. "She is well protected, I assure you." 

"From?" Baekhyun prompted, nodding toward the window and the continuing disturbance beyond. 

"Spice miners," Jongin explained. "Nothing to concern you, Senator. Actually, I was on my way here to speak with you about security for your return trip to Coruscant." 

"That is weeks away." 

Jongin looked to the window.

"Which gives us more time to properly prepare." 

Baekhyun knew better than to argue with the stubborn man. Since he would be flying an official starship of the Eriadu fleet, Jongin had the right, if not the responsibility, to get involved. And in truth, his concern pleased him, although he'd never admit it to him. 

A shout outside and renewed fighting drew his attention briefly, making him wince. Another problem. There was always a problem, somewhere. Baekhyun had to wonder if that was just the nature of people, to create some excitement when none was needed.

"Senator?" Jongin said, drawing Baekhyun out of his private contemplations. 

"Yes?" 

"We should discuss the security procedures." 

Baekhyun nodded and forced himself back into his responsible mode. Captain Kim had said that they had to discuss security, so Baekhyun Byun had to discuss security. 

 

***

 

He wasn't wearing one of the grand robes that had marked the station of his life for the last few years. His hair was not done up in wondrous sweep. And in that plainness, Baekhyun Byun only appeared more striking. 

The man sitting beside him on the bench swing was a bit older, clothes even more plain than Baekhyun's and with his hair a bit more out of place. But he was no less salient, shining with an inner glow equally strong. 

"Did you finish your meetings with Governess Kwon?" Junmyeon asked. It was obvious from his tone that the meetings to which he had referred were not high on his personal wish list. 

"It was one meeting," Baekhyun explained. "The Governess had some information to pass along." 

"About the Refugee Crisis," Junmyeon stated. 

Baekhyun didn't bother to confirm the obvious. 

"The Republic is all in a tumult, but not to fear, for Senator Byun will put it all right," Junmyeon said. 

Baekhyun turned to him, somewhat surprised by the level of sarcasm in Junmyeon's tone. 

"That's what you do, right?" Junmyeon innocently asked. 

"It's what I try to do." 

"It's all you try to do." 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Baekhyun asked, his face twisting with puzzlement. "I am a Senator, after all." 

"A Senator probably with many more offices ahead of him," Junmyeon said. 

"You speak as if it's a bad thing," Baekhyun remarked. 

Junmyeon looked at him earnestly. "It's a great thing," he said. "If you're doing it all for the right reasons." 

"And what is that supposed to mean?" 

Junmyeon shrugged, as if he wasn't quite sure. "I think you've convinced yourself that you're indispensable to the Republic," he said. "That they couldn't get along at all without you." 

"Junmyeon!" 

"It's true," Junmyeon insisted. "You give and give and give and give. Don't you ever want to take, just a little?" 

Baekhyun's smile showed that Junmyeon's words had caught him off guard. "Take what?" 

Junmyeon paused, a breath too long. "Wouldn't you like to have some time of your own?" Junmyeon asked.

Baekhyun sat up straight, his eyes going wide. "I..." he started, and stopped, several times. "I'm working right now for something I deeply believe in. For something that's important. And we’re in the middle of war right now; I can’t just abandon everything." 

Junmyeon fought to conceal the hurt in his voice. "And after this is settled, after the Refugee Crisis has been sorted out and is far behind you, you'll find something else to deeply believe in, something else that's really important. Something that concerns the Republic and the government more than it really concerns you." 

"How can you say that?" 

"Because it's true, and you know it's true. When are you going to do something just for yourself?" 

"I am." Baekhyun replied.

"You know what I mean. I'm talking about something bigger, Baek. You spend all of your time worrying about the problems of other people, of this planet's dispute with that planet, or whether this trade guild is acting fairly towards the other system. All of your energy is being thrown out there to try to make the lives of everyone else better." 

"What's wrong with that?" 

"What about your life?" Junmyeon asked in all seriousness. "What about Baekhyun Byun? What about us? Have you even thought about what might make your life better? Most people who have been in public service as long as you have would have retired by now, or moved on. I know you get satisfaction in helping other people. That's pretty obvious. But what about something deeper for you? Have you even thought about it? Have you even wondered what it might be like for you to settle down and concern yourself with things that will make your own life fuller?" 

Baekhyun wanted to retort that his life didn't need to be any fuller, but he found himself holding back the words. Somehow they seemed hollow to him at that particular moment. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it before, especially with Junmyeon, with whom he couldn’t imagine his life without. For the first time in many days, Baekhyun's thoughts roamed free of his responsibilities, free of the important speech he would have to give in the Senate in less than a month. Somehow, the words “Humanitarian Refugee Crisis” couldn't filter through the whimsical song a bird was singing on the nearest tree.

 

***

 

"This is not good news," Captain Kim remarked, after delivering the blow to Senator Byun. 

"We've suspected all along that Count Dooku and his separatists would court the Techno Union," Baekhyun replied, trying to put a on good face through it all. Jongin had just come in with Commander Sehun Oh with the report that the Techno Union had thrown in with the Separatist movement that threatened to tear the Republic apart.

"Wat Tambor is an opportunist," he continued. "He will do anything that he believes will benefit him financially. His loyalties end in his pocket. Count Dooku must be offering him favourable trade agreements.”

“Also, of course, with that attack on the Mandalorian Duchess, we must make sure security is at it’s best!” Jongin looked like he was on the edge of a bout of hyperventilation.

Baekhyun sat up, with his eyes wide open and horrified. This was news to him.

Catching sight of Senator Byun’s alarmed expression, Commander Oh tried to defuse the situation.

“Duchess Satine is all well and alive thanks to the heroics of the Jedi, I assure you Senator. In hindsight, this attack was to be expected, considering the separatists desperately want Mandalore on their side.” Baekhyun let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. The last thing he wanted was more deaths.

"I'm more concerned with the implications to you, Senator," Jongin remarked, drawing a curious stare from Baekhyun. 

"The separatists have shown themselves not to be above violence," he explained. "There have been assassination attempts across the Republic. That mere fact demands that we tighten security about Senator Byun." Jongin’s tone had turned flat and determined, turning to face Sehun.

"Please do not speak about me as though I am not here," Baekhyun scolded, but Jongin didn't blink. 

"In matters of security, Senator, you are not here," he replied. "At least, your voice is not. Sehun reports to me, and his responsibilities on this matter cannot be undermined. Take all precautions.”

Jongin took a deep breath and his eyes fluttered shut, willing himself to calm down. He opened his eyes and looked directly at Baekhyun, “Sehun and I have arranged for a decoy, Senator. Your personal decoy. Someone you know and someone we can trust. All we require is your cooperation."

“A decoy? Surely the threat isn’t that serious.” Baekhyun’s statement tailed off to a question at the end.

“Now I don’t want any situations like the Mandalorian and Nabooian politicians. Your safety is my job, Senator, and I will make sure that it happens.”

Baekhyun swallowed. Jongin was right. There was just too much of a threat to ignore right now. Hell, it might not even be that bad.

“Alright Captain, I’ll do it your way.”

Jongin’s smile looked almost triumphant. 

“It will be done, Senator Byun.”

With that, he bowed curtly and walked away, and Baekhyun suppressed his immediate desire to rebuke him. But he reminded himself again, Jongin was right, and Baekhyun was better off because Jongin dared to point it out. He looked back at Commander Oh.

"We will be vigilant, Senator." 

"I have my duty, and that duty demands that I soon return to Coruscant," Baekhyun said. 

"And I have my duty," Sehun assured him, and like Jongin, he offered a bow and walked away.   
Baekhyun Byun watched him go, then gave a great sigh, remembering Junmyeon's words to him and wondering honestly if he would ever find the opportunity to follow his lover's advice; advice that he was finding strangely tempting at that particular moment. He realized then that he hadn't seen Junmyeon in nearly two weeks. 

Time did seem to be slipping past him. 

 

***

 

Jongdae Kim was only just shorter than Baekhyun, but just as compact and also extremely sharp. His smooth, boyish face suggested an immaturity that had been long since shed. He wore the same type of khaki clothes as Baekhyun’s attendants, with his hair cut short and even. He had his eyes cast to the ground as a sign of respect.

Jongin wasn’t wrong, no. Baekhyun was very familiar with Jongdae as he was one of his longest serving attendants.

“Jongdae has been informed of all the possible risks, and he is willing to take your place for 3 rotations from the time we leave.” Jongin spoke, pacing between Baekhyun and Jongdae, while Sehun stared impassively at Baekhyun’s fuschia robes.

Baekhyun looked away from Jongdae, his eyes widening. “3 rotations?” he asked incredulously. “Surely we don’t have to…”

“Your safety is my priority, Senator, and we have been through this before.” Jongin smoothly cut Baekhyun off. “For this reason also, I will be accompanying you while Sehun will be stationed with Jongdae here.”

Baekhyun felt a certain coldness spread in him. He was suddenly not looking forward to the excursion to Coruscant very much at all. Of course, dropping out now was not an option. The refugees needed a voice in the Senate urgently, and Baekhyun Byun must be that voice. But he wanted to be home, without the chatter of war and the responsibilities of politics.

Suddenly Baekhyun was terrified. What if Jongin’s worries did become real? He wanted so badly to be comforted, to be held, to be told everything was going to be alright. And no one other than Junmyeon would understand his worries, his fears and his thoughts.

Baekhyun opened his mouth before he even knew it, “Would Junmyeon be allowed to accompany me?” His voice sounded absolutely devoid of emotion. Sehuns eyes flickered up while Jongin stopped his pacing. It was so quiet you could’ve heard a pin drop in the room.

“Senator, I’m not sure if that is entirely possible. I’ve assigned men to watch your back but I cannot guarantee anything about his safety if he should accompany us.” Sehun spoke in such a quiet and diplomatic manner that Baekhyun couldn’t help but think that Sehun would be a talented player in the game of politics.

“I’m sure we can arrange that, but Sehun is right. I’d recommend caution, something we all know we need more of.” Jongin added, his eyebrow raised.

“Captain, please, I barely see him anymore and it would comfort me if I had him.” Baekhyun’s voice cracked halfway through his sentence, and even Jongin, the toughest man Baekhyun knew, seemed to be softening at his words.

“I’ll do my best, Senator.” Jongin sighed and nodded slowly, running his fingers through his hair in what was clearly stress.

“Thank you Captain Kim.” Baekhyun’s words overflowed with gratitude.

“I suppose this will look more credible if we had Junmyeon on board.” Jongin muttered, sounding like he was trying to justify the need for having an extra person on board, but Baekhyun felt as if a lot of tension diffused from his shoulders.

Sehun spoke up after a minute’s stretch of tense silence, “Well, I’ll run you through what your and Jongdae’s positions are going to be.” Jongdae looked up at that, soft brown eyes attentively snapping to Sehun.

“Senator Byun, you will wear the uniforms of the attendants while Jongdae gets to dress as you do on official business. It’s imperative you both must play each other as if you are each other. Senator, this means that you will stand behind Jongdae and will speak only when spoken to. You will be lodged along with the other attendants for those 3 rotations while Jongdae will replace you in your usual quarters. Jongdae, you must act assertive and diplomatic. In those 3 days, you are the Senator for Eriadu, so you must command yourself with the grace and humility Baekhyun would. There must be no lapses in your facades, and I trust you both will act the parts spectacularly.”

“Yes Captain Oh, it will be done to the best of my ability.” Jongdae looked slightly shocked at the proclamation from Commander Oh, who was normally mildly spoken in comparison to the rather imposing Captain Kim, before schooling his expression into neutrality. Or maybe he was taking in the reality of the situation.

It was impossible for Baekhyun to not notice Jongdae’s emotions. Either way, Baekhyun didn’t feel much different from Jongdae either. He nodded once before standing up and making his way out of the spacious meeting room, which suddenly felt constricting and suffocating. He briskly made his way over to a balcony, his mind mulling over everything Commander Oh said. He was willing himself not to break down, he couldn’t. Baekhyun blinked at the scenery around him. A twilight that was misty and seemed perpetual lay in silvery grey layers over the green lushness of Eriadu. A bulky cargo ship flew off into the air, rising silently through clouds that hung still and endless across the world's emerald surface. Baekhyun always thought it was beautiful.

Baekhyun wasn't really afraid of anything; he could handle the reality of his current situation, the reality of the fact that someone could possibly try to kill him, with determination and courage. But the one thing about it all that troubled him, aside from the political ramifications of such distractions and the ways they might weaken his position in the Senate, was the effect of such danger upon those he loved. He was scared of the implications this would have on Jongdae and Junmyeon, but he had to be strong. If he acted like nothing was wrong, if he kept it together, then surely Jongdae and Junmyeon would relax and everything would go smoothly.

He could only hope.

 

***

 

Jongdae was clad in fancy, elaborate robes of violet shimmersilk, the sheer and lustrous fabric flowing over his built frame. He was not quite accustomed to wearing such intricate garments, but he would be lying if he didn’t admit he secretly enjoyed this new experience. He was used to being a quiet shadow behind Senator Byun, dressed rather simply and making sure the Senator was well taken care of, although he never resented it. Jongdae was utterly loyal to Baekhyun and nothing could change that. Here, he was already able to appreciate what the Senator went through on a regular basis; two of his fellow attendants were bustling around, meticulously checking every detail on his outfit. One of them, Kyungsoo, swiped an eyeliner pen over his eyelids while the other one, Yixing, was drizzling what seemed like glitter over his swept up hair.

Jongdae allowed his thoughts to roam free. He was scared. He did not want to fail the Senator but what would happen if there was an attempt on his life? Or worse, what if someone realised that he was only a decoy and they’d kill the Senator anyway?

But those were not the things that frightened him the most. He was frightened of conducting himself in an improper manner in public. He was afraid of making the wrong decisions. He was frightened of being in such an authoritative position, even if for 3 rotations. Hell, he was even frightened of being too out of place with the Senator’s lover, Junmyeon. He wondered if he had to share a bed with him; that would certainly be improper. He only ever saw Baekhyun during official hours, when he had his calm, authoritative persona in place. He knew even less about Junmyeon. As a decoy, he would be expected to interact with Junmyeon too and, despite his stellar interpersonal abilities, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it past awkward conversations.

Jongdae blinked himself out of his reverie when Yixing smacked a giant glittery powder puff in his face and pronounced him “ready”. He turned and slowly faced himself in the mirror and his jaw nearly dropped in surprise. What had they done to him? His cheekbones looked sharper and more angular, his eyes deep-set, mysterious and a luminous black-brown. The robes flowed in a way that made his shoulders look broader and his chest more muscly. Even through his nerves, he had to admit he looked like someone who was not to be messed with.

Swallowing a lump building in his throat, he stepped off the pedestal, his feet finding purchase on the smooth floor in his Liwari shoes. He forced himself to position himself more like Baekhyun did, so he raised his head, straightened his back and took carefully measured steps to the entrance of the grand estate.

 

***

 

Jongin and Sehun were waiting by the entrance for Jongdae, and as soon as they caught sight of him regally making his way to them, they drew themselves up and offered a slight bow. Jongdae also caught sight of 4 assistants, not counting Yixing and Kyungsoo behind him, all dress in the khaki tunics, brown pants and loose headpieces which served as a hood to protect their identities. Jongdae caught sight of Baekhyun, looking demurely at the floor, effortlessly blending in with the rest. Jongdae felt another stab of fear, but this time it was not for himself, but for Baekhyun, but he forced his face to appear emotionless.

Jongdae’s eyes then slid to Junmyeon, and his breath hitched up in his throat. Clad in white clothes, similar to those of the Republic Classic Era, Junmyeon had a kind smile on his face. Before Jongdae could stop himself, he smiled back tentatively, his cheeks heating up. Jongdae had no idea how Junmyeon has managed to break his facade without even trying, but thanked the stars that Yixing put as much glitter on his face as he did.

“Senator, we have a ship waiting for you in the main hangar this way,” Jongin gesturing politely, clearly trying to get Jongdae to feel comfortable.

Jongdae tore his eyes away from Junmyeon to Jongin and grinned, just as Baekhyun would have, “Thank you Captain; I’m most grateful for your assistance.”

“We must always be prepared, especially after all these attacks Senator,” Jongin mentioned conversationally, turning to escort Jongdae and… well, he supposed he could say his assistants, to the main hangar.

 

***

 

Being a Senator, Baekhyun always had the best the galaxy had to offer, although he did it more to keep up appearances rather than any real desire. And his ship was no less for it. The courier-class yacht awaiting the passengers was a roughly 40 metre long, sleek craft, with a pair of trim wings that tipped upwards at the end. At the base of these wings, twin engines had been mounted, giving the craft excellent speed for its massive size.

Jongdae was always awed by this luxury ship and, unlike most people, absolutely loved starships. In his free time, he would read up on them, everything from hyperdrive engines to plating, so he knew that this ship had a T-14 hyperdrive generator, which would take them to Coruscant faster than light!

“It is very impressive, isn’t it?” Junmyeon murmured softly to Jongdae. Jongdae jumped at the sudden statement, rushing to agree with him. Junmyeon only seemed to find this endearing, his eyes crinkling with a smile so wide that Jongdae let out a nervous laugh.

“Relax, I think you’re beginning to sweat,” Junmyeon cast his eyes on Jongdae’s face, which was heating up rapidly.

Jongdae had no idea why his heart was suddenly beating a little faster, or why his face was beginning to feel a little clammy (although it could be partly owed to the amount of foundation on his skin, he suspected).

“I’m just… a little nervous, I suppose.” Jongdae muttered, shaking his head and willing his face to calm down.

“I suppose we’re all a bit on edge,” Junmyeon sighed.

Jongdae looked at Junmyeon. He had a small smile on his face, but Jongdae could see the concern and worry in the hard line of his lips, his pale cheeks and downcast set of his eyes. Despite all that, he still emanated a very calming and open aura, and it wasn’t hard for Jongdae to see why the Senator was happy with Junmyeon. Jongdae felt his stomach flutter a bit, and had no idea what it was.

 

***

 

The journey was scheduled to take just over 10 hours, which was 10 hours of resting, pondering and aimless games of Dejarik, a chess-like game with monsters instead of pawns. Jongdae sat through a rather boring war debate for the first hour, which was mostly just one-sided ranting on Jongin’s part about the Trade Federation. Baekhyun was standing next to Jongdae, along with all the other attendants, all of whom were paying rapt attention (or at least Baekhyun was). Junmyeon was sitting on the couch that ran along the walls of the room, back straight but clearly only paying attention because he wanted to look like he was. Jongdae’s eyes kept averting to Junmyeon, stealing glances before remembering himself and internally chided himself to focus. Eventually, Sehun cut short Jongin’s musings and had suggested that everyone turn in and prepare for their arrival in Coruscant in the morning. Jongdae had nearly started making his way to the attendants quarters, fully forgetting himself as Baekhyun bade him goodnight along with the other attendants filing out, before quickly diverting himself to the quarters where Baekhyun normally would’ve stayed.

The room itself wasn’t very big, but it had a modestly sized double bed. Jongdae patted the linens once, and found that it was very soft and most inviting, except that he knew he’d be expected to share the bed with Junmyeon. The mere thought had Jongdae breaking out in a cold sweat. He thanked his stars Junmyeon wasn’t in the room right now.

But then where was he? Jongdae had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he never noticed Junmyeon wasn’t with him, or he wasn’t with Junmyeon, whichever way round. Internally cursing himself for being so careless, he quickly changed out of his regal robes and put on something which looked decidedly like what Baekhyun would’ve worn at night and set off to find Junmyeon.

Jongdae didn’t have to look for long at all though. Junmyeon was sitting in the main cabin, illuminated only by the soft light of an incomplete Dejarik game, eyebrows furrowed together. As Jongdae approached him, Junmyeon looked up with tired eyes but his smile was so disarming that Jongdae again found himself grinning without meaning to.

“Mind if I join you?” Jongdae asked, his voice slipping into one of amiability.

“Sure,” Junmyeon replied, moving up so Jongdae could sit beside him, all while resetting the round checkered board.

Jongdae felt his stomach flutter again. He had no idea what that feeling was but he decided that he quite liked it. It didn’t take his nerves away at all, but it did fill him with a sort of passion he’d never felt before.

 

***

 

An hour later, Jongdae had suffered defeat from Junmyeon twice now and was very close to a third defeat. Frowning slightly, Jongdae moved his K'lor'slug one space forward and sighed when Junmyeon wasted no time in killing it with his Monnok.

Jongdae collapsed back onto the cushioned wall, his mind not really on the game. The strategic nature of the game was only making him more anxious about the following morning. Junmyeon misread this as sore defeat, chuckling at him.

“You’ll get better in time, Jongdae. Someday, you’ll even beat me.” Junmyeon’s eyes twinkled.

Jongdae smiled half a smile. “It’s not that, although I can’t wait for the day when I will beat you.”

Junmyeon’s smile morphed from amusement to concern, “What’s on your mind?”

Jongdae sighed, not sure if he should divulge his feelings to someone he barely knows. “I’ve been rather unsure of myself,” he said carefully. “Usually, I’m just behind Baekhyun, knowing what I’m doing and happy with it.” Jongdae felt a small twist in him at mentioning Baekhyun.

Junmyeon made a small noise of understanding, cutting off any and all explanation Jongdae could’ve given him. “When Baekhyun started his term as Senator, he was very frightened too. He had me and he had his attendants and advisors, but it was ultimately up to him to represent us in the Senate. And he was very afraid at times.” At this, Junmyeon placed his hand on Jongdae’s shoulder, trying to give him what comfort he could.

Jongdae’s heart skipped a beat at that and looked at Junmyeon, “Really? He felt unsure?”

Junmyeon chuckled again, “Oh yes, he really did. But in time he learnt that he should have more trust in himself, and you should too.”

Jongdae gave a small but genuine smile, despite himself. “Thank you Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon nodded at him and patted him on the shoulder, before moving to get up. As he was lifting himself off the couch, he felt a hand grab his. Junmyeon was oddly reminded of the way Baekhyun used to hold his hand before the war. He turned and saw Jongdae’s face peeking mischievously up at him.

“One more game?” his voice was full of devilry.

Junmyeon beamed back at Jongdae, “Of course,” before moving back to take his position close to Jongdae.

 

***

 

Not too many hours later, Jongdae was gently shaken awake by Baekhyun and was softly told that they’d be arriving in an hour. He let out a silent groan and stretched himself before feeling a movement beside him. Junmyeon was cuddled up adorably in a fetal position, his hair sticking up in tufts at the back. He was shifting around, mumbling something about “not enough sleep” while sleepily cracking his eyes open.

Jongdae found it endearing but refused to let his eyes linger for long, incase Baekhyun was put off by it. Baekhyun had his arms folded behind him, gazing at Junmyeon too, the slightest hint of a smile playing at his lips. Jongdae quickly stepped out of bed, by which time Junmyeon sat up sleepily and rubbed his eyes.

“Good morning then, sleepyhead,” Jongdae ventured, not wanting to be too forward, yet trying to act natural.

Junmyeon smiled blearily up at him. “‘Morning. Slept well I hope, after last night’s defeats?” He kept his voice low, not wanting to break the morning silence. Jongdae was oddly reminded of warm milk when he spoke.

“I let you win,” he laughed, eyes twinkling. “Now do be ready in an hour, I’ll see you then. You’ll be fine, right?”

“Don’t worry, I usually manage on my own.” Junmyeon smiled, pushing the blanket off his body.

Jongdae may have imagined it, but he was sure he felt Baekhyun stiffen beside him at Junmyeon’s statement.

 

***

 

Coruscant was different from other planets. People were always amazed at how strange the planet looked from space, casting not the softer blue and white shades of planets still verdant and unspoiled, but an odd silvery glow that suggested the reflection of sunlight off metal.

The impression was not misleading. The days in which Coruscant could be viewed in any sort of natural state were dead and gone. The capital city had expanded over the centuries, building by building, until it wrapped the entire planet. Forests, mountains, bodies of water, and natural formations had been covered over. The atmosphere was filtered through oxygen regulators and purified by scrubbers, and water was gathered and stored in massive artificial aquifers. Native animals, birds, plants and fish could be found in the museums or the climate-controlled indoor preserves. As Junmyeon Kim could clearly see from the viewport of the ship slowly descending through transport, Coruscant was a planet of skyscrapers, their gleaming metal towers stretching skyward in a forest of spear points, an army of frozen giants blanketing the horizon in every direction. Junmyeon rarely left Eriadu and was now swamped with thoughts about how much better he liked the forests.

The transport slowed now, edging its way out of traffic onto a landing dock that floated near a cluster of huge buildings. Junmyeon peered down. They were several hundred stories up, hundreds and hundreds of meters in the air. He tore his gaze away. The ship docked with a soft bump on the landing platform, its antigravity clamps locking in place. Jongdae was waiting in the main corridor with his retinue of assistants, guards, and Captain Kim. Jongdae nodded at Sehun, indicating that he should lead the way. Catching Baekhyun’s eye and giving him a quick smile, Junmyeon followed close on the heels of the Captain as he moved to the hatchway.

The hatch slid open, the loading ramp lowered, and the entourage exited into the sunlight of Coruscant. He spent the first few seconds concentrating on not being overwhelmed, which became even more difficult once he was outside the ship.

Two clone troopers in pristine white armour stood at the end of the ramp, flanked by a contingent of Republic guards. Captain Kim and Commander Oh approached the pair and bowed formally in greeting. Junmyeon was quick to do the same. Now Jongdae, dressed in black and gold robes, descended the ramp. His assistants surrounded him, wrapped in their cloaks of mauve, faces barely visible in the shadows of their drawn hoods. A full complement of Eriadu guards escorted them.

Junmyeon noticed Baekhyun murmuring something to Jongdae as they made their way down the rampway, assistants and guards in tow, as he quietly settled himself at the back of an air shuttle waiting for them. Out of the corner of his eye, Junmyeon saw Jongdae staring out at him. When he turned towards him, Jongdae gave him a wink, and he felt himself blush.

They flew only a short distance to another cluster of buildings and another loading dock, this one clearly meant for shuttle crafts. There, they disembarked and were escorted by the Senate guards to his quarters, a portion of which had been made ready for the senator and his entourage. Junmyeon asked to wait in a comfortable sofa. Apparently Jongdae and his assistants had already been taken to a meeting room to meet with fellow Senator Minseok Kim.

Junmyeon zoned out. He had never been one for politics and he slowly found his thoughts slipping away into ones of Baekhyun and Jongdae. He hadn’t spoken to Baekhyun in a while and he did miss him, although not as much as he thought he would. Baekhyun played the part of an inconspicuous assistant well, and Jongdae also seemed to find the hang of politics easily and naturally. He supposed it was expected considering the years he had served alongside Baekhyun, keeping him company during meetings and private hours. Junmyeon worried about the safety of them both, even though the transit to Coruscant had been safe, and rather enjoyable by his standards. He has been anxious about his arrangements with Jongdae but found him incredibly easy to be friendly with. Jongdae always seemed to be hanging on to his every word and spoke to him as a trusted friend. Junmyeon supposed Jongdae was quite good looking too, with eyes as expressive as he had ever seen, cheekbones as angular as those Twi’lek models frozen on holoboards and lips as shapely as-

Junmyeon was shaken out of his reverie by Commander Oh, who informed him that the meeting was over and a room was ready for him. He shook his head and stood up as people milled out around him.

“Commander, where are the others?” Junmyeon questioned as he was led through a myriad of corridors he was sure he would never memorise.

“Being led back to their quarters by the Captain as I am leading you. You did seem quite out of it.” Sehun replied, looking sideways in his direction.

Junmyeon chuckled. “Politics have never been my forté; it’s something Baekhyun and I have never been able to discuss without the jargon confusing me. Yet here I am, sitting in the very building politics is discussed.”

Sehun smiled at the statement. “Well I don’t suppose you’d have to go through too much of it. There’s the speech in 2 days, and many more meetings may come in between and I don’t think you’d be invited to most of them, if not at all. The senator was planning on visiting a couple of others in their homes to convince them that the crisis at hand is very real and very important, but you’ll remain here.”

Junmyeon opened his mouth, about to reply when Sehun stopped outside a door and proclaimed that they had arrived. Junmyeon thanked him formally and opened the door, then froze. He was expecting the large, tastefully-decorated room to be empty, but Jongdae was seated on a divan next to the large glass windows and Baekhyun was also resting on a settée across Jongdae.

Junmyeon was overcome with a large smile as Baekhyun looked at him and returned it with a smile equally as heartfelt. Junmyeon wanted to spring over to him and envelope Baekhyun in a hug but stopped himself when he realised that not even one day had passed of their three-day curfew.

Junmyeon then looked at Jongdae and realised that if he had ever held any moments of doubt that Jongdae was beautiful, they were washed away, then and there. His eyes roamed his shapely frame in his black and gold robes, taking in every detail. He saw his dark hair, swept up and wanted to lose himself in it. He saw his eyes and wanted to stare into them for eternity. He saw his lips, and wanted to...

“Junmyeon, you’re here! We were discussing what needs to be done, now that we’re here.” he exclaimed, clearly in a good mood.

Junmyeon nodded in understanding as his face heated up, taking his seat next to Jongdae. Baekhyun’s face went curiously blank, but Junmyeon put it down to his required pretences.

“How are you finding Coruscant? Is it what you hoped it would be?” Jongdae questioned lightly.

“Monstrous. Too many buildings and not enough trees. How does anyone sleep with all this noise?” Junmyeon complained, earning laughter.

“You simply get used to it. Besides, I’ve been here so much now that I can’t imagine sleeping without knowing there are thousands of dreaming souls around me.”

Junmyeon wrinkled his nose at that but made no further comment.

“Well we must get down to business then. You suggest visiting a few unswaying senators to see the problem from our point of view?”

“Certainly,” Baekhyun replied. “It’s been done plenty of times, and makes an enormous amount of difference. I know Senator Minseok Kim is also making the rounds, as well as a few others he’s managed to convince. A senator who I’d want to visit immediately would be Senator Kris Wu. He’s taken up a startlingly oppositional view to this.”

“Oh I know him; I’ve seen him on the holonet a few times.” Junmyeon sparked up, thrilled to have understood something.

Baekhyun grinned at him before continuing. “You’ll be giving the speech in my place so keep your chin up. I’ll ask Captain Kim to hand you a datapad with the speech so you can prepare.”

Jongdae lowered his head, acknowledging Baekhyun’s words. “Is that all I will be required to do then?”

Baekhyun’s lips rose up in the corners. “More or less,” he replied, standing up and bowing just like any other assistant before making his way out of the room. His fingers brushed Junmyeon’s shoulder before leaving.

“Are you feeling up to it?” Junmyeon asked out of concern, noticing that Jongdae’s face seemed a little tense.

“It would be a lot better if these robes weren’t quite as heavy as they are. No wonder Baekhyun looks so stressed all the time.”

The pair shared a much needed laugh before Jongdae continued on, “Really, I don’t want to mess anything up. He has worked long and hard for this and any wrongdoing on my part could unravel this entire campaign.”

Junmyeon put his hand on Jongdae’s shoulder, a habit that came out whenever comforting people, and he found that he didn’t want to remove it at all. “I’m sure you’ll do wonderfully. There are few in this galaxy who could do as magnificent a job as you and you’re doing just that. And don’t worry about the robes, you’re still very handsome.” Junmyeon gushed before he could stop himself.

Jongdae raised his eyebrows and Junmyeon prayed to whatever Force existed that Jongdae didn’t take that as him being too forward. But Jongdae only gave a teasing smile and remarked, “Well, if you say I’m handsome then I really must be.”

 

***

 

Jongdae stood in the bathroom, untangling his damp dark hair, staring into the mirror but not really seeing anything there. His thoughts were replaying again and again the image of Junmyeon, the look he had given him. He heard his words again, "...still very handsome" and though Jongdae was undeniably that, those were not words he was used to hearing. Junmyeon was also Baekhyun’s lover, therefore nothing could be forthcoming from that direction.

But he could not deny the intensity in Junmyeon's eyes as he had looked at him.

But what did it mean?

He saw Junmyeon again, in his thoughts. And clearly. His mental eye roamed over Junmyeon’s lean and strong frame, over his face, tight with the intensity that he had always admired, and yet with eyes sparkling with joy, with kindness, with…

With longing?

That thought stopped Jongdae. His hands slipped down to his sides, and he stood there, staring at himself, judging his own appearance as Junmyeon might.

After a few long moments, Jongdae shook his head, telling himself that it was crazy. How could Junmyeon even look at him in such a manner?

So it was all his imagination.

Or was it his fantasy?

 

***

 

Next morning could’ve been considered a lazy morning by many standards. Traffic clogged the Coruscant sky, flowing slowly about the meandering smoggy haze. The sun was up, giving the sprawling city an amber glow, but many lights were still on, shining behind the windows of the great skyscrapers. Jongdae wasn’t required to visit anyone or meet up with anyone this morning, which left Jongdae sitting on the divan, which he seemed to have taken a liking to, a datapad in hand, memorising lines from the much-awaited speech for tomorrow. Jongdae had woken up to an empty bed and a note from Junmyeon saying he had decided to go on a tour of the Senate building with Jongin.

Jongdae could not suppress his feeling of disappointment but tried not to be too put off. It was Junmyeon’s first time in Coruscant after all, and he didn’t have to spend his entire day with him if didn’t want to.

He had kept the note anyway.

Right now, Jongdae was in that frustrating stage where if he memorised one section of the speech, he forgot another section. Jongdae tucked his head between his knees, his eyes screwed shut, trying to rattle off the words under his breath, “...here we are, a witness to a full-scale war which has divided our great Republic in two. Already, hundreds of Jedi have lost their lives and…”

Jongdae sighed and paused, suddenly distracted by the sweeping noise of a door opening. He looked up to see Junmyeon stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. He had a big smile on his face; he clearly had a good morning.

“Good morning! The building is really something, I’ll tell you. Did you know there are 1024 pods in the Senate Chamber? That’s means we can have 1024 senators in one session” Junmyeon chirruped, oblivious to Jongdae’s plight.

“I did know that actually. However, did you know the Separatists can only hold 350 in one session?” Jongdae questioned back, sighing after.

“Well at the rate planets are choosing to leave the Republic, they’ll need to make more space. Remember they tried to take Eriadu too? Governor Tarkin was wise to send them off. Good man, that Tarkin. Pity he joined the Republic Navy, although I will admit few people have his military sensibilities.” Junmyeon mused.

“That’s all well and good, but if I can’t do my job properly, we’ll be losing them faster.” Jongdae’s head was starting to hurt now.

“Are you more of an auditory learner?” Junmyeon asked.

“A what learner?” Jongdae inquired, trying not to get irritated.

“An auditory learner. It’s when you retain information better when you hear it, instead of reading it.”

Jongdae shrugged. “I suppose, I’ve always been better at listening than reading.”

“Here,” Junmyeon took the datapad from Jongdae’s fingers. “I’ll read a paragraph out to you at a time, and see how much you can repeat after me.”

Jongdae felt almost babied at this point, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to try. Secretly, he also thought Junmyeon had a nice and soft voice, although he’d rather die than admit it out loud. He nodded, earning an encouraging smile from Junmyeon.

“Fear; it is the greatest weapon wielded against those would stand up for truth and justice…”

 

***

 

Coruscant at night had always been an endless galaxy of light, shining from trillions of windows in billions of buildings that reached kilometers into the sky, with navigation lights and advertising and the infinite streams of speeders' running lights coursing the rivers of traffic lanes overhead. As the lights of Coruscant dimmed, gradually replaced by the natural lights of the few twinkling stars that could get through the nearly continual glare, the great and towering city took on a vastly different appearance. Under the dark evening sky, the skyscrapers seemed to become gigantic natural monoliths.

Jongdae was seated on a speeder, whizzing through the posh skyscrapers of Coruscant, where the rich and influential resided. He were on their way to visit a certain Senator Kris Wu, who seemed determined to not see the refugee crisis as a crisis at all. Senator Minseok Kim had also agreed to meet Kris Wu, and decided they should meet before visiting him together.

Jongdae was reciting the speech under his breath; recalling it perfectly now, in Junmyeon’s sweet voice. His nerves held the undercurrent of anxiety as he was incredibly nervous about tomorrow’s speech.

The speeder came to a halting stop near a particularly high building which promised fully furnished, high-end luxury apartments. Jongdae spotted a small figure standing next to a compound, whom he recognised as Minseok Kim on further scrutiny. A guard hopped out and helped him out of the speeder and announced that they’d be parked “right over here, senator” with a quick bow.

Jongdae smiled briefly, trying not to let nerves show through, before thanking them and greeting Senator Kim and accompanying him to a compound labelled neatly as “Kris Wu”. Jongdae took a deep breath and pressed the buzzer.

He didn’t see a speeder bike land close to his own speeder.

 

***

 

“What does ideology matter at point? Is it worth being assassinated over? Look at what they tried to do to Duchess Satine.”

The words came rather haughtily from the mouth of Kris Wu, who was leaning against the wall, his back turned towards the other two senators while examining a large aquarium wall in his apartment.

“Wounds heal, Senator Wu. But what about the millions dying because of the war?” Senator Kim retorted.

“Who? The clones? We created them for just that purpose.” Senator Wu said simply and dismissively, who started pacing in front of the aquarium. Jongdae could hardly believe he heard him correctly.

“But they’re people too, you must understand that!” Jongdae let some incredulity slip into his voice.

“The people I care about are my constituents; the ones who put me in office.” Kris had begun pouring himself a glass of wine, which Jongdae was beginning to find rather maddening.

“And when was the last time you ever spoke to your people?” Minseok asked forcefully.

“Probably the last time you did, Senator,” Kris replied, finally facing them. Jongdae and Minseok exchanged uncomfortable glances.

Feeling that this conversation was starting to go a little off-topic, Jongdae stepped towards the senator slowly, feeling a little desperate. “Senator Wu, please. Is there anything we can do to change your mind?” 

Kris deliberated for a moment before sighing. “I understand you’re preparing to speak in front of the full Senate tomorrow, am I correct? I’ll listen to what you have to say then.”

Jongdae felt his heart swell with hope. “So you are open to joining us?”

At that, Kris frowned before replying with a curt, “I said, I’ll listen to what you have to say,” before walking away, clearly dismissing them both.

At that, both senators blinked before turning around and out of the door, slightly disheartened.

“Well, it’s better than a ‘no’,” Jongdae sighed, remembering how Baekhyun would try to remain positive through every setback he encountered. “I’m sure when he hears what we have to say, he will understand.”

Minseok nodded before stopping, turning to Jongdae. “Are you sure I can’t give you a ride?”

Jongdae smiled and shook his head, “My speeder’s parked just a block away. I’ll be fine. Besides, I think I could use the fresh air.”

Minseok sighed, clearly not convinced but nodded anyway. “Just… do be careful.”

“I always am,” Jongdae grinned, trying to ease Minseok’s worries. He spread his arms apart while taking small steps back and Minseok chuckled before stepping into his own speeder. Jongdae turned around and started walking leisurely in search of his speeder. There was a slight chill in the air and he wished he had worn something a little thicker. A couple of Nunas started wrestling each other at the base of a dark alleyway. Apart from that, the surrounding area was completely empty and silent and Jongdae could not shake off the eerie feeling that was starting to take over him. His fingers wrapped around a small hand-blaster in his pocket; something all senators carried when outside official boundaries as he forced himself to regulate his harsh breathing, using his other handle to rub at his temples.

He heard a sudden screeching noise as something small slammed onto his shoulders and he saw a quicksilver flash of a knife. Jongdae grunted as he tried to throw the creature off his neck while quickly pulling out his blaster. That proved futile as it was quickly knocked out of his hand and the knife was pressed close to his throat as Jongdae let out a single yell. He frantically hoped someone would hear it and help him as he tried to slam the creature against a wall to his right. As soon as he impacted the wall, his felt the creature’s grip loosen on him, and he quickly took advantage of it and pulled it off to see a rather short Patrolian with a firm grip on a knife. He turned to run quickly, thanking his stars for the basic self-defense teaching he received during his assistant training back in Eriadu.

The self-congratulatory moment only lasted a fraction of a second as he was suddenly tripped over. Patrolians moved fast apparently, so fast that he barely felt himself getting flipped over before it held a knife to his throat again. Jongdae closed his eyes, thinking of his family, who’d mourn him, of Baekhyun, whom he had been proud to serve, and of Junmyeon, who he regretted he never spent enough time with.

There was a sudden calm and steely voice behind him, “Put your hands up.” Jongdae used the opportunity, along with the adrenaline running through his veins, to push the Patrolian off him before scrambling up. He spotted two police droids staring mechanically at the assailant, both armed with blasters.

“Arrest the bounty hunter,” was all Jongdae could pant before trying to right himself before the police droids, stepping behind their metallic forms. He could see more such droids arriving at the scene as the first two grabbed the attacker who was attempting to make a run for it. Another droid approached him and offered to escort him back to his own apartment, which Jongdae tiredly agreed to, shocked and angered by this attack.

 

***

 

Junmyeon was urgently shaken awake by Commander Oh, who quickly ran him down on what had happened. Jongdae had been unsuccessfully attacked after his visit to Senator Wu and the speeder he arrived on had been found abandoned, with clear signs of foul play. Junmyeon’s heart sank, trying to fully comprehend the situation. After a few seconds he sprang up and pulled on a night robe, running to the living room before stopping at the door. Jongdae was sitting on the couch looking frazzled and angry, but mostly unharmed. A medical droid was there, pressing a sanitized gauze to his right cheekbone, which was scraped and red. Jongdae winced at the contact but didn’t say anything, even though the droid apologised.

It took every ounce of willpower he could muster to walk in slowly and calmly, and not merely rush in and crush Jongdae in a hug and yet, paradoxically, it took every bit of his willpower to move his legs, which were suddenly seeming so very weak, and take that first step towards Jongdae.

“You’re hurt,” was all he could whimper.

Jongdae looked at him, his face softening but he didn’t reply. Junmyeon sat beside him and took his hand in his own, refusing to let go as the medical droid patched him up. After a few minutes, the droid pronounced himself as “done” before shuffling out. Sehun was muttering into a comlink, and Junmyeon could faintly hear him giving security reports to Jongin, who he deduced was searching the lower levels.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright, Senator?” Sehun finally asked, breaking the pungent silence.

Jongdae nodded slowly, to which Sehun assured him that he’d be safe now and he’d be right outside the door if anything were to happen. Seeing that Jongdae wasn’t going to say anything, Junmyeon dismissed him gratefully.

Jongdae and Junmyeon sat there for a few more minutes before Junmyeon spoke up quietly, “Don’t you think you should report this to the Jedi council?”

Jongdae dully replied, “There’s nothing they can do. Anyway, they were bounty hunters, paid to stop me from speaking out.” There was nothing either of them could do as a tear leaked out from Jongdae’s eyes. “What is happening to democracy, and why doesn’t anyone seem to care?”

Junmyeon’s heart broke at that statement. Even now, in this battered state, Jongdae was thinking about others when he should be thinking about himself. “You do. Forgive me for saying this but, you’re not like most other people” he muttered quietly. Jongdae looked at Junmyeon when he said that, and Junmyeon immediately retracted his hand, thinking he had crossed an unspoken line.

But Jongdae merely said, “If only that were enough.” He paused, before saying, “At least it was me, and not him.” And Junmyeon’s eyes widened in shock. But it wasn’t because he realised how easily it could’ve been Baekhyun. It was because he was so touched by the loyalty in Jongdae, and how Jongdae really could’ve died today. Junmyeon didn’t want to say it, but he knew losing Jongdae would’ve meant a lot more to him than it would’ve three days ago. And this was when he realised that leaving Jongdae after tomorrow would be leaving a part of himself behind too, a larger part than he ever imagined he could leave with anybody.

So Junmyeon cried as Jongdae broke down too, both of them holding each other and refusing to let go.

 

***

 

Junmyeon woke up on the spacious couch with the feeling of something warm wrapped around him. Junmyeon felt incredibly at peace, yet still very tired. He closed his eyes again, trying to chase sleep but it had already slipped beyond his grasp. So instead, he focused on the warmth around him, content to lay down amongst that feeling. Looking down, he noticed a pair of arms wrapped around him. ‘Ah, so that’s what it is’ Junmyeon thought contently, before looking up to the face of the owner of those arms.

He jerked and rolled off the couch at the sudden realization that it was Jongdae, nearly tripping over his own feet. The force jolted Jongdae awake quickly with a gasp, clearly thinking someone else was trying to attack him. He took a good look at Junmyeon, then relaxed as Junmyeon was clearly not a threat, then tensed up again. Junmyeon wanted Jongdae to kiss him, so desperately, and it was precisely that out-of-control sensation that had stopped him cold. But Jongdae seemed a little oblivious to Junmyeon’s plight as he seemed to be leaning in very close.

“Good morning,” Jongdae smirked, running his hand through his messed up hair.

“How are you feeling?” Junmyeon went straight to the point, checking on Jongdae’s bruised cheekbone.

“A little sore but I’m alright.”

Junmyeon nodded once. A peaceful silence came in between them and both of them were content just sitting there and doing nothing. The faint noise of traffic could be heard through the windows but it was all just white noise to Junmyeon.

“Remember that man, back at home, who used to make glass out of sand? He used to travel to Naboo to collect the sand. Then he’d make vases and necklaces out of the glass. They were magical. There was this one time I looked into the glass and I saw water. The way it rippled and moved. It looked so real, but it wasn't," Junmyeon reminisced quietly, not wanting to break the morning silence.

"Sometimes, when you believe something to be real, it becomes real." It seemed to Junmyeon as if Jongdae wanted to look away. But he didn't. Instead, Junmyeon was falling deeper into his eyes, and Jongdae into his. 

"I used to think if you looked too deeply into the glass, you would lose yourself," Junmyeon said, his voice barely a whisper.

"I think it's true." Jongdae moved forward as he spoke, brushing his lips against his own, and for a moment, Junmyeon didn't resist, closing his eyes, losing himself. Jongdae pressed in closer, a real and deep kiss, sliding his lips across Junmyeon’s slowly. He could lose himself here, could kiss him for hours, forever... 

But then Junmyeon pulled back, suddenly, as if waking from a dream. "No, I shouldn't have done that. I’m sorry."

This was not right, he knew that in his head, despite what his heart might be telling him. They each had bigger responsibilities for the time being; he had to support Baekhyun, and Jongdae had to deal with the continuing split of the Republic alongside Baekhyun.

Jongdae looked up at Junmyeon in minute shock. It took him a minute to gather himself, stammering syllables at random before wringing his hands softly. There was no longer any childish immaturity in the face of the man before him and he felt his control slip a notch. “No, Junmyeon, I...” He was cut off when Junmyeon shook his head. Somehow, hearing his own denial brought some strength to Junmyeon.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t” Junmyeon’s voice broke gently but he refused to look at Jongdae as he forced his legs to move towards the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Junmyeon sank to his haunches and began to sob quietly. Deep down, he knew Jongdae held a certain attraction towards him but it just wasn’t possible. He belonged with Baekhyun, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to anymore but Jongdae was Baekhyun’s assistant. He knew this would also cause a rift between all three of them, a rift they may never be able to fix if this was allowed to happen.

Junmyeon felt like he did the right thing. But he had to wonder why doing the wrong thing felt so right.

 

***

Jongdae sat on the couch where Junmyeon left him, in even further shock than he was in the previous night. Junmyeon was… right. He knew he was. How stupid could Jongdae have been to think it may have had a chance. Junmyeon belonged with Baekhyun, and that was something Jongdae had forgotten. He felt almost horrified at himself for forgetting that. He overstepped so many boundaries with Junmyeon, and even though it was all an act, he had fallen in love with Junmyeon without even realising it on the way. In his book, he failed Baekhyun. Sure, he filled his position and did a wonderful job on the political front. But he royally messed up with Junmyeon and he wasn’t sure if Baekhyun would ever forgive him for that if he ever found out.

Before Jongdae could wallow himself in self-hatred, a small tinkling noise came from the door. Jongdae slowly came back to reality before lifting his heavy legs and shuffling to the door. Junmyeon still did not the leave the room and he opened the front door with a heavy heart.

Jongin and Sehun were standing there, flanked by two assistants Jongdae dimly registered as Luhan and Kyungsoo.

“Senator, the speech? We have 90 minutes before it needs to be delivered.” Jongin raised his eyebrow as he spoke.

The speech, of course! The events of earlier had completely erased the anxiety he had held over the speech. In the shadow of everything that had transpired, the speech seemed almost trivial now. But he nodded stiffly, not trusting his voice.

Immediately, Jongin and Sehun sauntered in, Luhan and Kyungsoo bustling in behind them quickly. Sehun stationed himself next to the door and closed it while Jongin positioned himself next to a window, his sharp eyes scanning the outside area. Jongdae swallowed and made his way to the bedroom door, gathering the little courage he had left. He rapped his knuckles against the door twice then paused. A small scuffling sound could be heard from inside before the door unlatched itself. Jongdae pushed the door open and slowly slid in, shutting the door behind himself.

Junmyeon’s face looked wrecked. Not in the freshly shed tears way though. His eyes were rimmed with red but his face was impassively neutral. It was a heartbreaking sight, really. And Jongdae wanted to apologise so badly, he really did but no sooner as he opened his mouth, Junmyeon pulled the door open and walked out, leaving Jongdae standing alone in the large and empty room. A moment later, Luhan peeked in, timidly asking if it was okay to come in. Jongdae responded quietly in an affirmative and the two assistants stepped inside and bustled straight to the large wardrobe sunk into the wall.

Jongdae did not notice what they prepared for him to wear as he lifelessly stepped into robes of some unknown colour and style to him. His eyes flickered up to the mirror in front of him. Under normal circumstances, he would’ve been a little startled by how pale his skin was and by the grey shadows under his eyes. But right now, he just felt so exhausted and helpless, and he couldn’t bring himself to care about his appearance. His body kept threatening to break down, to crumble into the void inside himself...

Jongdae jerked out of his misery when Yixing pinched Jongdae’s cheeks, clearly noticing the lack of colour on his face. If Yixing or Luhan noticed Jongdae’s morose mood, they decided not to say anything about it, which Jongdae was grateful for. Luhan asked him to look in the mirror and to tell them of anything he’d like to be changed.

Jongdae briefly scanned himself again, and forced himself to pay attention. What he saw was himself donned in royal blue robes, trimmed with gold around the edges. It brought an air of regality to himself. His hair was swept up again, a minimal amount of glitter drizzled on it and it looked like Yixing placed a lot of emphasis on his eye makeup, which made him look very important indeed.

He nodded and sincerely thanked the two assistants, who offered him smiles and bowed before backing out of the door.

Jongdae lifted his heavy feet and made to follow them. Upon finally exiting the room, he glanced around. Junmyeon was standing next to Jongin, having a conversation with him although his heart didn’t seem to be in it as he was gazing at the spires of the Jedi Temple in the distance.

Jongin abruptly interrupted himself when he caught sight of Jongdae, and Junmyeon turned around to follow Jongin’s line of sight.

“Ah, you’re ready. We’re all set and I trust you remembered everything?” Jongin raised an eyebrow as he spoke.

“Yes, I memorised it start to finish.” Jongdae did not look at Jongin; he was trying to catch Junmyeon’s eye but Junmyeon seemed to be studiously avoiding eye contact.

“Then we’d best hurry. If you’d follow Sehun please.”

“Good luck,” Junmyeon spoke quietly, still not looking at Jongdae. Jongdae stopped in his tracks, and he wanted to embrace Junmyeon so badly but he really did not want to cross any lines now. So he settled for an equally quiet “Thanks” before following the security officers.

 

***

 

The Senate chamber had the look of an arena, circular and massive, with doors opening off exterior ramp ways at various levels above the main floor. At the center of the chamber, a tall, slender column supported the supreme chancellor's platform, which was a broad, semi-enclosed area that allowed Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, who was already present, to sit or stand in the company of his vice chair and staff. All around the smooth interior walls of the arena, Senate boxes jutted from hangar bays off entry doors, some fixed in place while their senators conferred with staff and visitors, others floating just off their moorings. When a senator requested permission to speak and was recognized by the chair, their box would float to the center of the arena, close to the supreme chancellor's podium, where it remained until the speech was concluded.

Jongdae already knew all this from his previous experience with Baekhyun. He trailed behind Sehun and Jongin and he noticed another attendant waiting for him outside the Eriadu Box. Banners and curtains hung from the rounded ceiling in brilliant streamers, and indirect lighting glowed softly from every corner, brightening the chamber's cavernous interior. Droids bustled along the exterior ramp ways, carrying messages from one delegation to the next, the movement of their metal bodies giving the chamber the look of a complex piece of machinery.

As he neared the box, he wanted to double back, run and hide somewhere. The attendant in question was no other than Baekhyun himself. But that obviously wasn’t an option and Jongdae forced himself to walk in measured steps towards the box, freezing his face in an expression of neutrality. Baekhyun also forced himself to look down at his feet, lest anyone were to recognise him.

“You can do this, Jongdae,” Baekhyun murmured softly, so only Jongdae could hear.

“I wish I had your confidence,” Jongdae replied softly, making his way into the box with Baekhyun and Jongin. A murmur had risen from the assembled as they caught sight of Jongdae standing at the entry to the Eriadu box, robes of office flowing out behind him, head straight and face calm. If he heard the change in tenor of the level of conversation around him, he gave no sign.

All of them sat down on the plush seats provided in the box- Jongdae at the front with Baekhyun and Jongin flanking him. Jongdae caught sight of Senator Minseok looking at him, who gave him a reassuring nod and a smile which said they’d be catching up later. He scanned the area and also saw Senator Wu giving him a curious stare; no doubt the news of the attack had spread further than Jongdae would’ve expected.

The Eriadu box detached from its docking and floated a short distance toward the Supreme Chancellor's podium, waiting for permission to advance all the way. Jongdae and the rest of the occupants were facing forwards. Mas Amedda, standing on the central podium, nodded his head in the direction of Jongdae. "The chair recognizes the senator from the sovereign system of Eriadu."

The Eriadu box glided to the center of the arena, and Jongdae rose to his feet, taking in the assemblage with a slow sweeping gaze that drew all eyes toward his. In reality, Jongdae felt like he was going to throw up but he willed himself to calm down since doing anything else would be counter productive. He saw Junmyeon in his mind’s eye and felt his comforting touch on his shoulder. He heard Junmyeon reading out the speech to him. Using these memories, he felt himself relax and he knew he could do this.

“Fear; it is the greatest weapon wielded against those would stand up for truth and justice. We have our responsibilities since we’ve been elected to the Republic- to face our fears and to challenge those who threaten the safety of it’s people. Here we are, a witness to a full-scale war which has divided our great Republic in two. Already, hundreds of Jedi have lost their lives. I stand here before you today, bruised, but not beaten. The voices of the people we represent must be heard and together we shall represent them.”

Jongdae took a deep breath. This was actually going pretty well.

“The homeless must no longer be voiceless and faceless. The soldiers who fight so valiantly to protect us must also be protected. We need legislation to defend the displaced citizens of the Republic. To protect our soldiers from feeling as if there is no future beyond warfare. And we must open channels of diplomacy so we can end this war.”

Jongdae looked out of the corner of his eye and saw Minseok looking almost proud, and even Kris looked almost interested. He saw Senator Chanyeol Park standing in his box, an appreciative smile playing on his lips and Senator Zitao Huang, staring directly at Jongdae (Jongdae could not read his face at all).

Jongdae continued, “I know there are those among the Separatists who would end this conflict. And I know there are those individuals in the galaxy who seek to promote fear and chaos. And to those who act as agents of chaos, I say this- I stand resolute and unmoved. And if you strike my voice down, know that a chorus of thousands shall rise up in it’s place, for you have no dominion over the righteous. And it’s up to us to stand up for the righteous, for us to be the defenders of truth.”

Voices rose immediately in response, some in support, some in protest. Senators and spectators alike came to their feet, mutterings quickly building to shouts that echoed through the cavernous chamber. Senator Chanyeol in the Corellia Box was cheering loudly, almost jumping in his seat and Minseok was clapping so fast his hands were blurs. Kris was also clapping slowly and seemed to be avoiding Jongdae’s line of sight.

Jongdae felt a muted exhilaration and he looked at Baekhyun and Jongin. Jongin had a rather proud smile on his face too, and Baekhyun was beaming under his hood. “Well done, I knew you could do it.”

There would’ve been a time where Baekhyun’s approval would have induced a heart swelling and a sense of overwhelming pride. But right now, while he did feel good about Baekhyun’s approval, it felt pale compared to compliments from another person. Jongdae wished with all his heart that Junmyeon was here to see this. The only approval Jongdae really wanted at this point was Junmyeon’s and he swear he could hear his heart shatter when he remembered Junmyeon wanted nothing to do with him at this point.

Jongdae slowly sank into the seat as Senators around him were rushing forward in their boxes and yelling at each other. Jongdae simply did not have the energy for this anymore; he did what he came to do. Now it was up to the rest of the Senate if they wanted to act on his words.

 

***

 

A couple of hours later, Jongdae was being escorted out by Jongin, Baekhyun following him with his head bowed down. As soon as he stepped out of the box, he was attacked by a barrage of compliments from Minseok.

“Oh my graces, that was such a good speech. You really did so well, considering what happened last night. You’re alright aren’t you? Not too hurt I hope? When I heard I nearly broke down, I was so worried; I should’ve made sure you were gone before I left.”

Jongdae shook his head, momentarily amused by Minseok’s ranting. “I’m absolutely fine, and I just hope everyone in the Senate was listening.”

“Yes, well, I do suppose that’s the important thing right now. I’ll see you tomorrow then, I think Senator Dod was going to say something but it got deferred.” Minseok clapped his shoulder before moving to talk to another Senator.

Tomorrow… Jongdae realised with a pang that this was his last day of being a decoy, which meant his last day of spending time with Junmyeon. He wondered how he could apologise to Junmyeon and at least patch up their relationship, even though Junmyeon had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want anything to do with Jongdae.

“Let’s return, Senator,” Sehun shook him gently, leading the way ahead.

 

***

 

Junmyeon sat beside Baekhyun on the large, dull pink couch, bathed in soft sunset glows. They’d been back on Eriadu for a week now. Baekhyun had been ecstatic to have been reunited with Junmyeon, showering him with hugs and kisses. Baekhyun was sure the 3 days had been the most painful 3 days of his life, and that included the time he got no sleep for days preparing for a past speech with other Senators.

For Junmyeon, it was a bittersweet feeling. Sure, he could speak to Baekhyun freely whenever he wanted to, but it didn’t hold the same charm as it had before.

It didn’t hold the same charm as it did a week ago.

It didn’t hold the same charm as it did 2 months ago.

It didn’t hold the same charm as it did a year ago.

It didn’t hold the same charm as it did before the war.

And Junmyeon knew at the back of his head that he’d been feeling this way for a while now. He always justified it to himself by saying that he wasn’t unsatisfied, he wasn’t unhappy. Then Jongdae stepped into his life and never failed to bring his spirits up. Jongdae came in with bright smiles and a warm presence and always tried to make time for Junmyeon, even though he had been busy with his other duties. He made Junmyeon feel special again, and Junmyeon had gone so high he never wanted to let go.

Jongdae stepped into his life, and into his heart.

And what worried him most was that he knew the same had happened with Jongdae.

“Junmyeon, you’re a thousand miles away! What’s on your mind?” Baekhyun’s voice brought him back to the ground.

Junmyeon smiled and shook his head. It did not do well for him to dwell on thoughts of Jongdae, who he could never have anyway. Baekhyun needed him, now more than ever.

“Nothing at all, I’m just glad this whole ordeal is behind us now.” Junmyeon felt as if an ice shard pierced his heart at those words.

“I am too. Hell, I missed you everyday. I saw you but I couldn’t speak to you and after what happened with Jongdae, anything could’ve happened to you too and I was so worried.” Another ice shard to his heart.

There was a silence before Baekhyun spoke up again. “I’ve been thinking about what you said, a couple of months ago,” he started slowly, looking at Junmyeon’s expression carefully.

Junmyeon chuckled, “I said a lot of things; what of it?”

“What you said about settling down. I thought over it, and I decided you were right.”

“What do you mean?”

Baekhyun swallowed; what he was going to say was clearly taking him a lot of effort to say. “I’ve decided I want to settle down. With you. And retire. You were right, I’ve done this for so long that I’ve forgotten what truly makes me happy. And no one makes me happier than you do.”

Junmyeon turned to him so violently he was surprised that his spine didn’t snap. His eyes had gone absolutely wide with disbelief. This was one thing he did not want to hear now. “Baekhyun, what? You can’t, it’s your job, we’re in the middle of war and our people need you. They need you now. You can’t possibly drop everything and…”

“It was a hard decision for me, believe me. But you’re what really matters to me. There are plenty of people who could replace me in office and do a magnificent job but it’s you I want to be with most.”

Junmyeon couldn’t handle this. A couple of months ago, his heart would have leaped with joy. Now he just felt hollow, and slightly horrified. He was happy that Baekhyun had finally decided to slow down and enjoy his life, but Junmyeon could see no future where they are together and both of them are the happiest people in the galaxy. And for some reason (actually Junmyeon knew exactly why), tears started to fall from his eyes.

Baekhyun looked slightly alarmed; this was clearly a reaction he was not expecting. “Junmyeon, what’s wrong? You’re beginning to scare me.”

Junmyeon shook his head, and before he knew what he was doing, he ran out of the room with his face buried in his hands. His legs carried him into a study, where he locked the door and slid into the floor, his entire body wracked though with sobs. He almost expected Baekhyun to come running after him, but minutes passed and he didn’t hear anything outside the door.

There would’ve been a time where Junmyeon would’ve been elated at this news. They’d have made plans to move to the mountainsides, where the air is fresher and the cacophony of fruit merchants would just be voices heard in the distance. There would be morning after morning of sleeping in, refusing to get up until Junmyeon would put his foot down around midday. They would also travel to various systems around the galaxy- Toydaria, Devaron, Pantora, Naboo, Ringo Vinda, and maybe Mandalore (although Baekhyun would love to stay far away from Mandalore).

Now, that future seemed bland and bleak. And the worst bit was that none of it was really Baekhyun’s fault. No, this was all because of him. Because he fell in love with someone else who wasn’t Baekhyun.

And Junmyeon wanted to hate Jongdae for it. If he had never met him, he wouldn’t feel like he’s betraying Baekhyun. But he was truly happy for the first time since the war, and that was owed to Jongdae. And how could he hate him for that?

His thoughts kept running in the same vicious circle, over and over again until everything mercifully turned black.

 

***

 

Baekhyun sat there on the couch, in shock and in denial of what he heard and saw, his mind spiralling into a shutdown.

He felt confused. He was offering to leave politics, his first love, for Junmyeon, his greatest love. In his eyes, he was giving Junmyeon exactly what he wanted. A stable life, not one where he went days, maybe weeks without seeing Junmyeon. He didn’t understand why Junmyeon was so upset about it.

Which led to emotions of betrayal. What did Junmyeon want from him that he wasn’t already willing to give up now? He was prepared to drop everything from him, but Junmyeon ran away like it was nothing. Why was Junmyeon so upset when he was the one sacrificing much more than he was?

Which led to emotions of anger. He thought hard and furiously about the reasons Junmyeon could be leaving him like this. His mind ran through the past few days. Junmyeon was fine before the trip, even happy to accompany him. After the trip, he had started acting a little distant but Baekhyun had put it down to travel exhaustion, not able to spare a larger glance at Junmyeon since he was swamped with more work on their arrival. Baekhyun knew something had happened during the trip to make him act this way. Baekhyun ran through all the details until his mind lingered on one. Jongdae.

Could Junmyeon possibly be in love with Jongdae now? They’d only been together for 3 days. There’s no way Junmyeon could possibly love him after that long. What had Jongdae done to Junmyeon that could’ve possibly made him love the other?

You know exactly what, a snide voice in his head hissed. You’ve had to change for Junmyeon but Jongdae’s is already exactly what Junmyeon’s always wanted. Face it, he’s better off without you.

And Baekhyun felt inadequate. He’s tried to so hard to balance his public life with his private one and it wasn’t enough to satisfy Junmyeon. No wonder he lost him. The voice in his head was right; he’d never be enough for Junmyeon.

Baekhyun felt a tear rolling down his face, and before long he was sobbing to himself, gasping and shaking. He cried, remembering when he first kissed Junmyeon. He cried, angry at Junmyeon for leaving him, and at Jongdae for existing at all in this equation. And he cried, knowing that no matter how much he blamed others, it was his fault ultimately, that he waited too long to give Junmyeon what he wanted, and for being so careless about it.

 

***

 

His eyes opened to a white blur. He looked around, blinking a few times before his surroundings came into focus. His head ached from resting it in one position for too long and his legs were cramped under him. The room he laid in was bathed in a bright, morning sun and he could hear birds chirping in the distance. In his dreams, he had felt like he was floating with a certain bright-eyed, mischievous faced someone but reality made sure he sank back to the hard ground, weighed down by his heavy heart.

Junmyeon picked his body off the floor. His arms supporting his weight felt like twigs about to snap under him. He realised he had been in the study all night and no one had come to get him. Junmyeon felt slightly mollified, not sure whether he was grateful that no one tried to get him or not.

He had to make a decision and he had to make one now. If Baekhyun was really going to retire for him, he’d feel miserable. Baekhyun loved politics and he thrived on making positive differences to other people’s lives. No matter what, Junmyeon could never let him give up that which truly made him happy.

Selfishly, Junmyeon also thought of Jongdae. He’d never be happy with Baekhyun when he knew Jongdae also reciprocated his feelings. It was Jongdae he wanted now.

So Junmyeon picked himself off the floor and opened the door, a decision already made.

 

***

 

Junmyeon had to search around a bit before he found Baekhyun in the living room, still sitting where he was the night before, looking distraught and slightly haggard. He was staring at the little glass table in front of him. Junmyeon knocked the door quietly before coming in. He refused to make eye contact with Baekhyun, knowing that he may never be able to look at Baekhyun in the eye again, especially if he took this badly.

“Baekhyun?” Junmyeon called softly, almost as though Baekhyun would break if he were much louder. But Baekhyun just shook his head, and Junmyeon stopped right where he was- 3 metres away from him.

“Baekhyun can I please talk to you,” but Baekhyun still shook his head. Junmyeon wasn’t sure what to do but he had to say it now.

“Baekhyun, I can’t continue on with you,” Junmyeon delivered the killing blow. Baekhyun’s expression didn’t change, so he must’ve been expecting it, or he was a better politician than Junmyeon originally thought.

He ploughed on. “We want different things. I’ve always wanted a stable life and to settle down. And you’ve never wanted that. You love going out there and really making a difference. And I respect that, it’s a noble thing to do and you’ve always been a noble man. And I can’t let you drop your… your whole life for me. But I know I can’t continue like this either.”

Baekhyun looked like he hadn’t even heard what Junmyeon said but instead asked, “Do you love Jongdae?”

That simple question caught Junmyeon off guard. He had no idea that Baekhyun had guessed his true feelings. Had Junmyeon really been that obvious?

“I…” Junmyeon started then stopped. “I really don’t know what to say,” he stuttered.

Baekhyun sighed, and Junmyeon knew the cat was out of the bag now but he still didn’t want to outright admit it to him.

“Of course you do. I think about it, and I keep realizing more and more that he’s exactly what you’ve always wanted. He doesn’t have to serve forever and he isn’t recognisable enough that he’s attract attention. He’d give you your perfect, quiet life you’ve always wanted.” Baekhyun’s voice was so robotic that Junmyeon nearly broke down again. He would’ve much preferred it if Baekhyun had acted outright furious at him. But he knew Baekhyun has too much of a politician’s demeanour to allow himself an outburst.

However, his words stung and he couldn’t help feeling as if it was his own fault over again.

“Baekhyun, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to…” Junmyeon started again, but Baekhyun cut him off.

“Sorry? You’re sorry? Sorry won’t fix this, not here and not now and you know it. Just, please leave me alone,” Baekhyun spoke bitterly.

Junmyeon felt like someone shot him straight through his heart. He wanted to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness but he just nodded and backed out of the room.

He never knew love could hurt this much.

 

***

 

Jongdae was being led into the Senator’s office, escorted by Commander Oh. He had come to Jongdae’s small yet cozy quarters and informed him that he was tasked to bring him to Baekhyun.

It had been 12 days since he had returned from Coruscant and he had been granted leave after the tedious trip. Jongdae had no idea why Baekhyun would summon him specifically, especially alone. He had been very careful to hide his feelings from anyone else, burying them deep down and hoping they wouldn’t resurface for everyone to see. And Junmyeon had made it amply clear that they could never be together so how could Baekhyun know?

The moment he stepped into Baekhyun’s office, he wished he hadn’t asked himself that question. Baekhyun was sitting at his desk, a holo displaying a data chart in front of him. Baekhyun was dressed like he always was in office, regally and with sophistication. But Jongdae had served beside him for enough time to know when something was bothering him, even when others couldn’t see it.

“Commander please leave us,” Baekhyun said softly, but it carried enough weight that Sehun exited the room without question.

Jongdae stood in front of his desk, head bowed down and his hands clasped in front of him, his orange robes rather shocking in the neutral palette of the room.

“Jongdae I need to ask you something, and I want you to be fully honest with me,” Baekhyun started.

“Of course, Senator,” Jongdae replied, his eyes not leaving his feet.

“It’s about Junmyeon,” Baekhyun said simply, pausing for any reaction on Jongdae’s part.

“Junmyeon, sir?” Jongdae clarified, his heart sinking. This was it, Baekhyun knew and he was going to get mad at him.

“Yes, him. I understand what I’m going to ask you may be somewhat of a private question but I must know.” Another pause.

“What do you feel about Junmyeon?”

Jongdae froze. If he weren’t so well trained, he would’ve panicked right there and then, but he kept his face neutral as he always did. He spoke slowly.

“Junmyeon is… a wonderful man. Kind and very easy to talk to. Someone who could make others happy without trying.” Jongdae wanted to take the last words back as soon as he said them, and he could tell Baekhyun picked up on that.

Baekhyun sat up straight on his chair. “I know that, but I’m asking what do you feel about him?”

Jongdae didn’t answer, trying to do some damage control.

Baekhyun sighed and asked the killing question. “Do you love him?”

At that, Jongdae just wanted to melt into the ground or fly himself to Lotho Minor and live out his days there. But Baekhyun asked him a question and he had been asked to answer it honestly, so there was no backing out of this situation.

“Yes,” Jongdae said softly and meekly, ready for an onslaught of punishment (even though he knew Baekhyun never punished anyone). Baekhyun would probably fire him or something, and he’d never see Junmyeon again and…

“He loves you too.”

Jongdae looked straight up at Baekhyun with wide eyes, lips parting slightly and forgetting all propriety.

“Senator, please forgive me. I never meant to overstep my line and…” he was cut off as Baekhyun held up his right hand.

“Do you promise me you’d make him happy?”

Jongdae’s head spun in circles trying to read into the question. Was Baekhyun really willing to give up Junmyeon on his account? No, that couldn’t be it...

“Senator, I don’t understand. I…”

“Do you promise?”

Jongdae swallowed thickly and nodded.

“Understand that I’m doing this for Junmyeon. I’ve made my mistakes with him and he’s too hurt by them. I would never be able to fix them but he deserves a new start.” Baekhyun’s face was still carefully impassive, but Jongdae could tell he was destroyed inside.

“Senator, please, I don’t understand. He’s yours, why are you so willing to let him go?”

Baekhyun started rubbing his temples, his elbows resting on the desk in front of him. “I love Junmyeon enough that I’d let him go if it made him happy. The more I think about it, the more I realise that I could never make Junmyeon happy and he deserves someone who will. And I love him enough to know that he’d be happier with you.”

“Senator, I couldn’t. What about you?”

Baekhyun chuckled bitterly. “Me? I deserve this for denying Junmyeon the one thing he wanted most. His goals aren’t the same as mine. I’d be unhappy leaving my work behind and he’d be unhappy leaving behind a peaceful life. We just aren’t meant to be.”

Jongdae could hardly believe he was hearing this. “I can’t allow myself to do this if I know you’ll be hurt or…”

Baekhyun shook his head plaintively. “I’ll be fine. I suppose I’ll be busy with the escalating war and all. There’s not much hope for me beyond that.”

There was a pungent silence after that. Jongdae really did not know what to do. He almost expected to get yelled at or fired, but he certainly did not expect this. He felt overwhelmed and his heart swelled up as he realised that he could spend the rest of his life with the man he truly loved. He felt content at the mere thought of waking up to Junmyeon everyday.

“I think there’s hope for you yet, Senator,” he said timidly, not wanting push any lines.

Baekhyun simply sighed and spoke up softly. “You may leave.”

Jongdae nodded and his legs carried him out of the door. A thought struck him just before he exited the door and he turned around to face Baekhyun again.

“Senator, I’m not in any trouble, am I?”

Baekhyun smiled weakly and shook his head. “No, no trouble at all.”

Jongdae felt like he was floating in his head and thanked the Senator before leaving. The first thing he did then was to run around, trying to find Junmyeon, or someone who’d know where he was. His heart felt freer than it had in days, and he hoped Junmyeon shared the sentiment.

 

***

 

Junmyeon sat on his bed, back leaning against the headboard and arms wrapped around his legs. His mind was replaying a conversation he had with Baekhyun earlier in the day, over and over again until it got stuck on “If it makes you happy, then I won’t object…”

Baekhyun had come into his room earlier and had spoken to him. He had said that if Jongdae was who really made him happy then he’d be willing to let him go. Junmyeon could hardly believe his own ears and had bombarded him with questions like “What about you? Why aren’t you mad?” to which Baekhyun had quietly responded with, “If it makes you happy, then I won’t object. I’ll be fine.”

After that, Baekhyun had pressed a long, lingering kiss to his forehead then left. Junmyeon had been curled up on the bed all day after that, sobbing and confused

He heard a quiet knock at the door. He looked up and arranged himself so he looked slightly more presentable.

“Come in,” he said hoarsely, not having used his voice for a few hours now.

The door creaked open softly, and Junmyeon had to blink twice to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

Jongdae, himself, slid through the door, looking a lot lighter than he had been from the last time he saw him.

“Hi.” Jongdae posed awkwardly, clearly remembering the last time they had a conversation as the door silently snapped shut behind him.

“Hey, are you doing well?” Junmyeon replied weakly with a smile.

“Never better. Has Baekhyun told you the thing or…?”

“The thing?”

Jongdae grimaced. “You know, the thing.”

Junmyeon blinked slowly, all the pieces falling into place. Jongdae was looking jovial because he had a similar conversation with Baekhyun too.

Junmyeon’s smile became slightly stronger. “He really meant it, didn’t he?”

Jongdae returned a big grin. “Yes, he did. He isn’t mad at me either, and I really expected him to me because I know he really loves you.” His tone turned a little sombre at the end.

“He isn’t and it’s scaring me ever so slightly. But I know when Baekhyun says something he normally means it.”

“He wants us to be happy. I always thought he was a wonderful man but he’s succeeded my best image of him.”

There was a little pause.

“Junmyeon, I love you, I really do. I never believed in love at first sight but I felt it when I saw you. It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant that I loved you and I knew it. I knew it the very first night we spent together.”

All this time, Jongdae noted the blush on Junmyeon’s face.

“I loved you too Jongdae, and I knew I did too. I suppose I was too scared to act on them but I know I’ll never be happier now that you’re here.”

Another pause, gentler this time.

“So where do we go from here?” Jongdae asked.

“I don’t mind as long as we go slowly.” Junmyeon’s voice sounded so heartbreakingly beautiful that Jongdae crossed the room in a couple of long strides and embraced him in his overwhelmingly warm arms.

Junmyeon still felt that they have some way to go. He had to forgive himself for pulling this on Baekhyun out of the blue. He had to come with terms with waking up next to Jongdae every morning. He had to relearn his new partner’s habits and quirks and adapt himself to them (and vice versa of course).

But Junmyeon was hopeful for the future again. He was as happy as he could be right now.

And Junmyeon couldn’t hope for more now.

 

***

 

Junmyeon did not see Baekhyun much after that. He tried to contact him on comlinks and holodisks but there was never any reply. Sometimes, he would see him in the Senate sessions broadcast on the holonet. The way he was churning out speeches and furiously debating issues there and that worried him. Baekhyun had a horrible tendency of overworking himself when he didn’t want to deal with his emotions. He looked more and more exhausted every time he showed up and Junmyeon felt horribly guilty about it.

There was a weight settled on Junmyeon’s chest, and many times he felt like throwing up.

He was in pieces too.

Jongdae was being kept busy too. If he wasn’t being sent on errands on Coruscant by Baekhyun, he was being sent on errands here with the Governess. As far as possible, Baekhyun seemed to be avoiding both of them and Junmyeon wanted nothing more than to apologise and for Baekhyun to live his life again.

He wanted closure- to know he and Baekhyun were absolutely sure about this, But how was he supposed to provide closure for them both if Baekhyun refused to talk to him.

He had spoken to Jongdae about it, hoping he’d have some good advice. Jongdae was rather inexperienced, though, and had suggested barging up to him and forcing him to listen when he returned from Coruscant, to which Junmyeon gave a point blank refusal.

Now it was starting to look like a really good idea.

So that was exactly what he was doing now. He was striding the last steps to his home which looked so familiar to him, right from the stone walls to the ornamental fountain in the front garden.

He went straight to the door and banged his fist on the door and rang the chiming bell twice. The door was answered almost immediately by Jongin, who looked surprised to see him there.

“I need to see Baekhyun so take me there now or I’ll find him myself,” Junmyeon snapped, not wanting to hear excuses or fancy lines.

Jongin rarely ever saw Junmyeon in a bad mood, and that’s probably why he led him to Baekhyun without any questions.

Baekhyun was seated in his office, reading over a datapad and muttering to himself. There were dark circles under his eyes, evident even through the makeup that had be painstakingly applied on his face.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Junmyeon starts right off the bat. His arms were crossed in front of him, and he only just realised how angry he was at Baekhyun for not answering any of his messages.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been…” Baekhyun started, looking slightly startled at Junmyeon’s sudden proclamation. Beneath that, there was more pain but Junmyeon could not be bothered with that now.

“Busy, I know. You’re always busy. But to say you’re sorry? After everything that’s happened, I think I deserve more than that now.” Junmyeon sounded slightly mirthless.

“There’s nothing to say now. It’s done and it’s over with.”

“Baekhyun Byun, don’t you dare decide it’s done for the both of us. I’ll tell you what’s there to say. You’ve been avoiding me, and you’ve been avoiding Jongdae too, don’t deny it. You think you’re the only one suffering? You think any of this can erase everything we’ve been through together?”

“Junmyeon, I don’t know how you feel…”

“Well I’m telling you how I feel. Regardless of our relationships now, I feel horrible too. I’m so scared for you, Baekhyun. You’ve been so stressed and exhausted lately, and you think I don’t know that you’ve been staying up at night and blaming yourself when this is all my fault?”

Baekhyun looked up with his eyes wide and mouth open, absolutely stunned. “Junmyeon, you can’t possibly blame yourself for this. I know it was me. I was so focused on doing what I wanted that I forgot about what you wanted. And you deserve that and much more. So don’t you dare take the blame for something that was my own stupid fault.”

Junmyeon exhales a little, willing himself to calm down. “It’s not your fault. We both were too blind to see what each other wanted. We both were trying to hold each other back. I suppose the fault is mine as much as it’s yours. And I’m sorry, I really am. I’m sorry for ending it this way.”

Baekhyun was dumbstruck. He did not expect an apology from Junmyeon at all. He forced his lips to move.

“Well, that was a pretty apology. And I suppose I’m sorry too.” He didn’t know what to do with his arms so he just let them hang beside him. “I guess I wasn’t easy on you either, and I was so focused on what I wanted that I never stopped to think about what you wanted. I was really selfish, and I’m sorry.”

There was a long, drawn out silence after that. Junmyeon stood there, not knowing what to do or say, which was rare for him. Eventually Baekhyun broke the silence.

“I’ll stop being hard on Jongdae as well. It’s not his fault, I suppose.”

“Jongdae will be glad.”

Another silence.

“Well I suppose we’ve said what we’ve had to say, right?” Junmyeon asked delicately.

Baekhyun nodded thickly. “I suppose we have.”

Junmyeon smiled ever so slightly, with a hint of sadness still remaining. “Promise me one thing, though. If I try to contact you again, please don’t ignore me. We may not be what we once was, but I hope we can remain in contact.”

Baekhyun smiled. “I will, I promise.”

 

***

 

After that, Junmyeon got steadily happier everyday. Baekhyun also seemed to be letting go. He still attacked his work rigorously, but his former passion was coming back each passing day. Jongdae also became a little closer to Baekhyun everyday, and it stung less and less.

On Jongdae’s weeks off, he would take Junmyeon to planets all over the galaxy, to places he had always wanted to see. He took him to see the lush mountains of Devaron, the vibrant and colourful jungles of Felucia and the most aesthetically pleasing waterfalls of Naboo. Eventually, off world travels became less frequent as the war spread to many planets in the galaxy. Eriadu, thankfully, never saw any battle so Jongdae and Junmyeon opted to stay close to home, where they knew it would be safer.

Jongdae took Junmyeon to ship building yards, where Jongdae was overly fascinated by everything. He babbled on and on to Junmyeon about everything, from hyperdrives to plating, and even the air filtering systems, and Junmyeon understood approximately nothing. But seeing Jongdae so animated and excited made him keep his mouth shut, deciding to explain later that he may as well have heard a Gungan speaking.

Junmyeon also took Jongdae to beaches he used to visit as a child. In the warm season, they’d rent out a coastal estate and spend days just lazing on the sand or splashing water at each other. Junmyeon was also surprisingly good at making the most intricate sandcastles, and Jongdae could only stare in awe as Junmyeon’s deft fingers carved beautiful patterns onto the sand.

The war still continued around them. Jongdae would be gone for days at a time sometimes, and it did upset Junmyeon sometimes. But Jongdae always made sure that anytime they spent together was spent wisely and to the fullest. Junmyeon would also keep in contact with Jongdae even when he was off-world, where Jongdae filled him in on the latest Senate gossip.

It still wasn’t Junmyeon’s idea of a perfect life. But when he was around Jongdae, he knew there was no other place he’d rather be in.

 

***

 

12 months later

Jongdae walked into the house, which was lined with neatly trimmed hedges and had tastefully grown flowers and vines running up the walls. The interior of the house was just as simply wonderful and just as full of life and soft colour as was the yard. Jongdae much preferred this house over any place in Coruscant. Everything there had been designed with maximum efficiency in mind. But on Eriadu, everything was built with an understanding that form was just as important as purpose. There were no glaring lights, no beeping consoles or flickering computer screens. The furniture was plush and comfortable; the floors were made of cool stone or covered in soft carpeting.

He removed his shoes, glad to be rid of it after such a long journey. It was quite late at night, but the lights in the house still glowed dimly. He removed his headpiece and discarded it off on a nearby table and walked towards the strongest source of light in the house, which happen to be in the living room.

When he walked into the room, he spotted Junmyeon snoozing on the couch, looking as delicately beautiful as ever. Jongdae felt his heart swell at the sight and walked over to the couch, gently perching near the edge. He carded his hand through Junmyeon’s hair gently, who stirred and blinked his eyes open slowly.

“Good evening to you, sleepyhead.” Jongdae greeted fondly.

Junmyeon blinked back up at him, a smile spreading across his face blissfully. “You’re late. I’ve been waiting here all evening.”

Jongdae kissed his forehead softly. “I’m sorry, we left slightly later than anticipated. Baekhyun had some… other things to attend to.”

“What other things?” Even after all this time, Junmyeon still worried after Baekhyun, although it was more like an exasperated parent rather than a concerned lover.

“I think the Corellian senator has been making moves towards him, and Baekhyun seems to be quite flattered by his advances,” Jongdae smirked.

“Who’s that again?”

“Chanyeol Park.”

Junmyeon sat up faster than a bolt of flashing lightning, pure incredulity wiping out any and all trace of sleepiness on his face. “No way, seriously?”

“It really looks like it. Do you know what I’ve been hearing from Luhan? He said he saw them hugging once, and you know Baekhyun would never hug anyone outside his own house. Baekhyun’s also been a little distracted lately, so I think he’s a little lovesick too.”

“Oh my god, you’d better leave him alone. Don’t tease him,” Junmyeon giggled.

“I can give you a full rundown of what Luhan saw. Apparently Senator Park has been sending Baekhyun some Everlilies and Centaureas. And you know what they say about Everlilies, it isn’t serious until the Everlilies are thrown in. He really must be head over heels for Baekhyun”

“Oh my, I do hope he doesn’t send him Mycosia flowers, he’s allergic to those.”

“I think they’ve been stepping out together too. I overheard him asking Baekhyun to walk with him in the rooftop gardens in his apartment. It’s a little funny because Senator Park kept tripping over his own feet that whole day.”

“Maybe he should try giving Baekhyun some Jogan fruit cake, he loves those.”

“Although Yixing wondered, and I would tend to agree, why his apartment though? There are some gardens near the Jedi Temple which are much prettier. The air is fresher there too.”

“Oh Jongdae, you’re really obtuse sometimes. It has to be his apartment.”

“And Kyungsoo swears he saw them snogging in Baekhyun’s office the other day. I thought he looked pretty dishevelled later too, but I could be wrong.”

Junmyeon burst out laughing and Jongdae couldn’t help but find it a little funny too, as he pulled Junmyeon closer to him.

“In all seriousness though,” Junmyeon stated once he had pulled himself together. “I do hope Chanyeol makes him happier than I did, he deserves his own happily ever after.”

“I hope the same, although I’ve heard dating at work can get a little dicey.” Jongdae waggled his ever-so-expressive eyebrows at him.

Junmyeon smacked him on his chest, still leaning against him. “Don’t you dare tease him for this.”

Jongdae gave him the look of a martyr, “Alright fine, I’ll be the perfect wingman for him. I’ll pass Senator Park some fake love notes so he can ask him out properly.”

“Don’t you dare.”

Jongdae groaned. “Fine, but only because you said so.”

“Good,” Junmyeon grinned before raising his head to Jongdae’s and connecting their lips together. Jongdae had been happy before, but he’d never felt high on happiness until he met Junmyeon. Right now, holding Junmyeon against him and kissing him felt like paradise, and he knew he would never let go of this blissful being named Junmyeon Kim.


End file.
